


Infinity

by riahk



Category: Persona 3
Genre: F/M, Major Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:00:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riahk/pseuds/riahk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dying is easy when you've fallen in love with Death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinity

He’ll always claim that she made the first move.

She doesn’t deny it, though others find it difficult to believe; but Minako swears that he was all talk, all innocence and charm with nothing tangible to show for it. 

They are in Kyoto, wandering through streets steeped in history, but it is difficult for her to focus with Ryoji constantly on the perimeter of her thoughts. As promised they take a walk, alone, and as they slip away from the rest of the students she can’t help but wonder if he will finally act on his oh so obvious desires towards her. 

“I’ve been thinking,” she begins. “Maybe we feel like we’ve met before because we knew each other in another life,” she says, grinning playfully. Ryoji gives a soft chuckle, but his expression is serious.

"‘We’? I thought I was the only one,” he replies. “The only one who found you… familiar, I mean.”

She feels her ears turn red, having failed to notice her own slip. But he isn’t wrong to notice it. “Well, I do feel that I’ve known you before,” she mutters. 

After that she gives up on trying to direct the conversation and they walk to the river, and things are mostly normal. They make their date for the next Sunday, and as they rise to leave the river bank she finally breaks.

With a surge of confidence she tugs his sleeve roughly, anchoring him to the ground. “Minako?” He watches her and she sees herself reflected in his eyes; then there is darkness and warmth as she kisses him, still gripping the cloth of his shirt. Triumph washes over her as she feels that slight tug, that push and pull as he kisses her back.

They part, flustered, and as reality catches up with her she springs to her feet, eager to escape the flood of emotions rushing through her. Ryoji lies stunned as Minako walks away, too embarrassed to admit that she has stolen his first kiss. 

 

* * *

 

Minako has never felt infinite before; satisfaction, yes, but this is different. And now she feels the universe everyday; sees it in the depths of his gaze, hears it when he whispers secrets in her ear.

He’s been much more assertive since Kyoto, as if he is competing to see who can steal more kisses, take the most risks. He practically runs with her to the school gates on a Sunday, his willingness to break the rules another testament to the things he will do for her.

And everything they do comes with a strange sense of urgency. He talks constantly about his fear of time, his fear of tomorrow, and normally this would be off-putting to her if not for the fact that she felt the same nagging presence. A heavy air hangs constantly around them. That’s why they needed so constantly to distract themselves from it.

On the rooftop they swear themselves to each other and he kisses her hard, a thing he has proven himself to be very good at. His lips run up and down her neck and she can’t help but breathe out his name. “Ryoji,” she whispers, and as she does so he breaks away momentarily, beaming at her before kissing her lips again. As though he is stealing his name back from her. 

It’s difficult, though, for either of them to steal anything from the other. That is part of feeling infinite: at one point Minako can’t tell where she ends and Ryoji begins. And as always she asks herself how she feels so tethered to a boy she has only known for a month of her life.

 

* * *

 

The deja vu is most palpable when he takes his first quiet steps into her room. For such a small place everywhere echoes, tugging at the edges of her mind. She watches tears form in his eyes as she grips his hands, tells him over and over that he is real, how else could he be heightening ever part of her? She softly kisses his cheeks, brushing along the edge of his eyelids, tasting salt in an attempt to pacify him. He doesn’t resist, but it does not curb the tightness in his chest.

She pulls him to his feet only to seat him at the edge of her bed, positioning herself in front of him as her fingers move delicately to untie the ribbon at her neck. He grips her hips as she undresses, his breathing soft and patient, and when she is done with herself she leans further towards him, working at the buttons on his shirt. The scarf is the last thing she takes off, for no particular reason other than it feels right. 

They are together for a long time, and it is like re-reading an old favorite book. He follows the curve of her body, and as she arches back to cry out again she can hear him sobbing lightly, gripping her tightly and refusing to let go. How many times has she said his name? How many times has he said hers? She’s lost track. 

They are a tangle of sheets and skin and warmth. Infinity pounds in her head. 

 

* * *

 

She’s praying. She never prays, but in the cool December evening Minako finds herself at the shrine with her heart beating out of its chest. One week since he’s been gone. One week of trembling hands, of darkness, of betrayal. 

She hadn’t slept at all that night, when all the memories came back to him. She’d camped out by his side in the command room, her friends occasionally checking in on her, encouraging her to get some rest. But how could she rest after that? Minako knew they were just saying that because they cared, that they understood how she must have felt. The only thing comforting her was the rise and fall of Ryoji’s chest; working the same as always.

And there had been a moment when he woke up and it was only them, and he wasn’t any different, and when she held his hand it was the same warmth she’d felt only two days before. He’d cupped her cheek and smiled, sadness in his eyes.

“This isn’t your fault.”

The words echo and she falls to her knees in front of the altar. Maybe it isn’t her fault, but he has no right to say that. He has no right to say that and then leave her, disappearing as quickly and mysteriously as he’d appeared. Minako bites back the anger and pulls her shaking fingers together.

And she prays.

 

* * *

 

Her room is their temple, their sanctuary of certainty; she’s glad to tell him her decision here. Ryoji is the same and different, but when he says her name (needy, almost a whisper: “Minako”) reality washes away for a moment. And it’s December 1st again, and the only thing that matters is the two of them in this room. Minako wants time to stop.

He remembers, too, as he eyes the bed fondly. But time moves ever forward and he is only here for her decision.

She expected she’d have to repeat herself. So when Ryoji changes before her it is only half-shocking, but she has seen worse. And even as a shadow he is beautiful to her, she tells him. She can’t kill someone so beautiful. That’s only half the reason, but she sees no need to explain herself. He’s not allowed to question her decision, not when he left her for so long to make it.

“We should go downstairs, then,” Ryoji mutters.

“Wait,” Minako says firmly, taking a step toward him. Tentatively she reaches her hand out, and he does not protest as she rests her palm softly over his heart. Beating normally, and she wonders: how can he be Death, when he is so obviously alive? 

He takes her hand in his and wraps the other arm around her waist, pulling her close until their bodies are flush against each other. And they sway back and forth in a makeshift dance, breathing and feeling as one. Ryoji hums a song in her ear, something she barely recognizes but cannot place. Fitting.

“I love you,” Minako says into his chest, and she hears his voice break.

“I love you too,” he says. “But I’ve gone and made you sad.”

“No. You made me happy.” Even as she says it her eyes water up. They pull away and he leans his forehead against hers; two pairs of crying eyes looking into each other. They’ve stalled long enough but she doesn’t regret it. He slips the ring off of his finger and onto hers. Time to go. Time to leave their temple.

It’s not the end for her yet but hell, it may as well be.

 

* * *

 

Going against Nyx is the hardest battle she’s ever fought, and not only for the obvious reasons. It’s not just that she, that all of them, are pushing their bodies and minds to the limit. That they carry the fate of humanity on their backs - and Minako wants more than anything to stop The Fall, more than anything to get her normal life back. 

No, what hurts her the most is knowing that Ryoji is in there somewhere; she sees, feels traces of him in the curve of Nyx’s face, the nonchalant wave of an arm. With every blow exchanged she must remind herself that it’s not really him. He never would have wanted this. If he had the choice he’d be fighting beside her, refusing to give up.

That’s the truest pain: even if they do succeed and the world is saved, it will be a world without Ryoji Mochizuki in it.

Maybe that’s what makes her all the more willing to trade her soul away.

She’s not quite sure what she’s doing when she casts the Seal; time is moving so fast and there is blinding light and she swears for a moment that he is there, watching her. She would know that feeling anywhere. Her finger trembles and she sees the ring there, the one she has nearly forgotten it feels so much a part of her. A promise. 

Infinity is in her. The end is still yet to come.

 

* * *

 

Aigis’ lap is warm, and a breeze blows across the rooftop through an unclouded blue sky. The girl is The World.

Minako isn’t sure if it is simply exhaustion, but she feels perfection in this moment. It has been a strange month, the strangest in a while, and she has had a great deal of time to find understanding. There are no more regrets.

She’s lost track of what her friend is saying. Her vision fades to black.

When she comes to again it is all gone; her head rests on something hard that is not the ground, not a surface she can really see. An unending white surrounds her. Minako pushes herself to her feet, taking in the void, wondering. It is only a moment before a voice calls out to her from behind and her heart skips a beat - wait, is it even beating at all?

He is standing before her, same as ever, his neck encased in yellow and his lips curled ever-so-slightly upwards. Confident and relaxed, a hand resting lightly on his hip, as if she shouldn’t have expected anything different. The boy is Death.

Her steps resound as she approaches him, the most important steps she has ever taken and before she knows it they are only inches from each other. Minako is almost afraid to breach that space, to close the distance, in case her touch causes him to vanish. Ryoji watches her with kind eyes, waiting. Like before, she has to make the first move. 

“Hey,” she breathes. A million things she’d like to tell him and that is the only word that can pass from her lips but it’s enough. 

“Hey,” he echoes back. She breaks. Minako’s hand reaches up, tugs lightly on his sleeve, lightly brushes skin and she knows for sure now that he is real. “Are you ready?”

Yes, she nods yes, and gently he takes her hand in both of his, fiddles playfully with the ring on her finger before pressing his lips gently against her palm. Their fingers intertwine and he pulls away slightly, motioning forward into the eternal light, leading her. Linked together they are safe, and for once she doesn’t fear that she will ever have to let go. She floats, serene, eyes ahead.

They don’t look back.


End file.
